End the Horror

I heard a bit from a Mitt Romney speech yesterday, and he tackled the critical issue of secret plan to take “In God We Trust” off of our money. This issue is crucial to both our economy and the future of Christianity, since anyone that has read the Gospels knows that Jesus was way into coinage.

If they would just put the word “God” on the Amero, things would be okay.

The trouble for our local Republicans is that since our money is still a federal issue, they are largely left out of this one. But not to worry: they can tackle our atheistic-islamofascist-basoonist state seal.

Look at it: no mention of God. Even worse, it’s got words in some foreign language, likely Muslim. They need to remove those terrorism inspired words and put in the language that Jesus and Moses spoke, American English.

By the way, the worker on the seal has a big hat. Like he’s keeping the sun off of his face. Like he needs to because he’s been walking in the desert. We all know what that means. Could we replace him with someone that looks more American?

The costs of revising this piece of Godless socialism may be high, but well worth it. I say the legislature should allocate some more money to the only agency worth spending money on: the Arizona Commerce Authority. How much more do you need guys, two, three million? We can lay off a few teachers and cut some people off of AHCCCS to pay for this. It’s that important.

5 thoughts on “End the Horror

  1. Don’t forget private prisons. We need some place to put all those little punks who turn to crime because they didn’t get no book-learnin’ from our under-funded schools.

  2. Fishing for suckers with this post? I realize this was written tongue in cheek, and I assume that you know “Deus,” right there in the middle of the seal, is Latin for “God.”

  3. I think our state seal looks way too “natural.” Who cares about plants and animals, mountains and sky? The seal and the “Five Cs” must have been created by some enviro-nazis!

    I suggest replacing copper and cotton with corrections and corporations. We could easily take out the cotton fields and the miner and insert some prison bars and the ALEC logo.

  4. Deus was actually supposed to be Deuce and was a refence to a Deuce Coupe, ‘chopped short, slung low, and painted cany-apple red. Of course we all know who drives THOSE kind of cars….

  5. I thought it referred to the Deuce of Clubs in Showlow and was just misspelled! Silly me! I should have known it was a pinko plot!

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