Rum, Romanism and Rebellion

Russell Pearce is sponsoring SB 1158, which would put citizenship requirements on presidential candidates who run in the Arizona primary.

Well, it seems that this is another attempt by Pearce to stir the anti-immigration pot. He’ll tell moderate voters that this is about limiting the number of candidates on the ballot and prevent “voter confusion” (even though few, if any, of the dizzying number of candidates who filed last year would be ineligible to run under this statute) while at the same time winking at the mouth breathers who will see this as a way to keep immigrants in their place. Also, it probably is yet another shot in the Barack Obama birth certificate “controversy”, because they can’t let that go.

But hey, what do I know? I wanted to ask the various presidential candidates what they think of this bill, but I got few responses. What do you have to hide, Chris Dodd? The only response I got was from Sean “CF” Murphy, who was endorsed by this blog in the Republican primary. After the jump is his response.

Hello Citizen! I’d like to tell you what an honor it is to be featured on your blog but I can’t, Captain Al Melvin told me at our last chips ‘n cribbage night that he’d keelhaul me if I sucked-up to the liberal media so let’s just jump to the questions, shall we?

Q: First, are you an illegal alien?

A: Funny you should bring that up. During the primary, Mitt Romney’s people were kind enough to run an extensive background check on my family tree. I didn’t even have to ask! It turns out that my great-great grandpappy – Nesbit “Snuffy” Murphy, was a stowaway on an Estonian trawler so technically I’m 1/16 illegal. Apparently that’s all it takes for Joe “Is this thing working?” Arpaio to legally cavity search me. I’ll have to ask him about that next time I see him at the dog track.

Q: Is there any sort of restriction that you would have included in this legislation had you written it?

A: It’s unfortunate that people of all heights are allowed to run. If John McCain, or the wee-one as I like to call him, had been held to a 5’8” presidential minimum, then it would’ve been me and not him who got his ass handed to him by Barak Obama.

Q: Some people think too many candidates were on the ballot for the primary and this led to voter confusion, do you think that the 269 voters that voted for you were confused?

A: Confused, ill-informed, demented, drug-addled, why split hairs? All I know is – there are 269 bona-fide patriots shuffling around somewhere in our great state and there’s a good chance they need fresh water, batteries for the remote, and a new pair of slippers. CF hasn’t forgotten you Citizens!