Friday, April 28th, 2006...12:02 pm
Why Linda Sanchez Doesn’t Date Republicans
Wonkette and FishbowlDC have stories on the Funniest Person in Washington chairty benefit. Unfortunately for most of Washington, this contest is more about who is intentionally funny.
Anyhow, Rep. Linda Sánchez used the following chestnut, which she has apparently used before. Those of you that have seen her sister Loretta speak will know that she always falls back on the “No one thought I could beat Bob Dornan” thing, even though that was ten years ago. So, both of them have their rhetorical crutches.
Given that this is a rhetorical crtuch, it comes in the form of a top 10 list, because top ten lists are always funny.
“Top Ten Reasons I Don’t Date Republicans” by Linda Sanchez
10. The only time they believe in fiscal restraint is when the dinner bill comes.
9. His idea of getting to second base is fondling my stock portfolio.
8. He thinks that Emily’s List is a call girl service.
7. His idea of oral stimulation is getting me to recite the Contract with America.
6. He thinks that white pantyhose and pearls are sexy–and you should see what he wants me to wear.
5. Because when Republicans say that they want to create opportunities for minorities, that means they want to date me and Loretta.
4. Despite all the hype, I still can’t find his weapon of mass destruction.
3. His pending prison term for political corruption is just another excuse for him to be emotionally unavailable.
2. Republicans are only interested in screwing the poor.
1. Because they make love like they make war: they lie to get in and don’t have a plan for what to do once they get there.
1 Comment
May 3rd, 2006 at 8:35 pm
I’m lucky. I married a Democrat.